Let’s focus on the positives. Sometimes in life we forget how we can take small steps to be more positive.
It’s true in life that you learn and grow as a person and of course you become more wise as you age, well you’d hope so. Wiser about life choices, wiser about things that make you happy, wiser about the people you surround yourself with.
I for one wanted to reflect and share my very own 4 simple steps to separate the negatives from the positives in order to feel fulfilled, happy and content. Let me start by saying it’s never ever easy letting go of things, even if someone keeps harping on at you (probably until their blue in the face). These can be long-term relationships (friends, boyfriend, fiancee, husband etc), a car you loved but can no longer afford, that amazing handbag or dress you bought some summers ago, you get the gist. The problem we all face is how do we focus on the positives in our lives when it’s so easy to dwell on regrets and mistakes. You can almost spend a lifetime reflecting on regrets, oh and I am so guilty of it.
Becoming aware of the fact that you need to make a change in your life is a big step, but it is only the first step. And, once you make the decision to do so, it is also crucial to adjust your attitude to create the mindset necessary to make lasting, positive changes, ones where you can later reflect upon.
It honestly pains me to see that this is not that case for most people out there.
If you find yourself thrown into a tailspin every time something goes wrong, feel overwhelmed by life, unable to get a handle on things or just plain frazzled and stressed to the max, you’re in luck. Staying calm, collected and sane, no matter what happens, is something that you can easily master with time, practice and patience – and these four handy steps that I want to share with you.
Take the time out
OMG this is so not easy! I know it’s not easy when shit hits the fan, your workload triples and everything seems to be falling apart around you, but you must remain calm. Take 5 -10 deep breaths. Close your eyes and sit in silence (reflect). Stop speaking frantically. Just pause (especially before you say or do something you may regret). You can do it, I promise. Taking a moment to calm yourself down makes all the difference in how you handle and tackle the situation at hand. I have two tactics when I seriously need to take time out 1) gym, steam and sauna 2) enter the bathroom, wash face and breath (this tactic I apply mostly when someone has either upset or angered me)
Treat yourself to a day out. A spa day with your bestie (providing your bank balance allows you to), if not go for a long walk – that certainly won’t cost you a thing. Just take the time out you need. I hear so many of friends and family complain they have no time. My friends, if you’re serious about your well being you must take the time out. Listen to your body and mind, usually your body gives you some sort of indication or sign.
Avoid negative thinking patterns
Life sucks, I hate everything, I’m terrible at this, I can’t do this anymore…
Do you recognise these thought patterns? Because I bet they’re your “go to” in these types of situations. If in the first instance you’re throwing your hands in the air when things start to go awry and out of your control you are never going to get anywhere. Things will never change. Unfortunately you will always be stressed, miserable and perhaps feel defeated.
The only person who can work on changing your thought patterns is YOU! Why? Because you are 100% responsible for what has happened and therefore, you’re 100% capable of changing things for good. It all starts with changing your reaction and perception. Don’t feel like you’re instantly defeated, there is always a solution to a problem.
Repeat after me, “I can do this because I’m capable of handling whatever life throws at me.” – Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I’m preaching, but this works if applied.
Say ‘thank you’
Acknowledge the things people do for you, especially those closer to you. We live in such a time-deprived society and we often lose sight of appreciation. Look around at all the things in your life for which you should be thankful for and appreciate. You can reach out and say thanks to the people in your life, there is a power in the heartfelt words of gratitude. I randomly text my besties to tell them how much I love and appreciate them. Not just for my own selfish gain, more because I genuinely believe they are special people in my life and I want to thank them.
A cheesy/mushy text to the husband ‘I love you, you are my best friend and thank you for being you’. I actually do this and I catch him off guard but I truly know it’s more heartfelt and it’s probably made his day. It’s a small gesture but a powerful one. Try it, it really works!
Surround yourself with positive people
Life is hectic enough and there is no manual that comes along with it. Luckily enough there are people that can help you through these events no matter how difficult, terrifying or intimidating a situation can be. These are the people worth having in our lives, because they bring positivity.
I can tell you the older I get the faster I run from drama. I certainly don’t have the time, patience or energy for it. If you want to avoid these negative incidents then it’s best you surround yourself with the type of people that have your best interest at heart. Fundamentally, in the last year I have re-evaluated most of my relationships and selected those that I feel are genuine. I find that genuine people don’t only care about themselves, but they care about you as well. It is important to them, as much as it is important to yourself, that you are feeling good about yourself or that your goals are met.
Complainers pollute the air around them with negativity and try to bring people into their sad, angry atmosphere. Stay well clear of that! I for one will not entertain this type of behaviour, ‘you want to be miserable and complain for absolutely no reason go for it honey, but please don’t project your negativity on to me’. Oh and of course ‘the criticiser and judgy-wudgy type’, I’ve had far too many of these in the past, where they have taken any and every opportunity to judge me; ‘why you wearing that dress?’, ‘you’ll never be able to do that’, ‘come on you need to be realistic’, etc. Hell ‘N’ to the ‘O’, you can shove your opinions where the sun don’t shine. I will do and wear whatever I like because I will stay true to myself. All I’m saying is we have one life and one opportunity. Take the risks you need to and remember this is not a rehearsal, therefore I stress surround yourself with people who 10000000% genuinely care about you!
I will leave you with one thought:
”Now is all you have. Don’t count the days, make the days count.”
I hope you enjoyed this one my loves. Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your perceptions and what you do to stay positive. xxx
What I am wearing
Zara Shoes – I bought these earlier in the year, however I’ve recommended alternative ones