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Insecurities…we all have them, but I guess it’s more about how to overcome them. To become strong, beautiful and body confident.
I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t have something their insecure about, every person in the world has something he or she is insecure about – even if only slightly. Wouldn’t you agree? Insecurities can stem from your own body (the way you look or something you dislike about your body), career or relationships. Low self-esteem harbours a deep, underlying sense of awkwardness, which may make you feel spiteful and jealous towards others. I’d be lying if I said ‘I’ve never felt this way’. I think we’re all guilty of feeling this way at some stage of our lives (we’re human after all). However, I’ve learnt one life lesson ‘don’t let it manifest and be grateful and appreciative for those who truly love and care for me and for the things I have’.
I’ve touched on this subject in my previous blog, but now I’m ready to go a little deeper, especially because I want to build a genuine relationship with you. You’ve probably noticed a scar on my right arm or maybe you haven’t! This scar has been a major insecurity of mine for the best part of my life. At the age of six I was severely burnt by extremely hot curry. I was left hospitalised for eight weeks, had a number of skin graft surgeries and I’ll never forget the pain – it was excruciating (I still remember the whole incident like it was yesterday, literally so raw in my mind).
Growing up my scar tormented me, I would wear nothing but long sleeved blouses or tops to hide my arm. At school boys would mock me and pick on me, girls would call me ugly or ‘here comes the monster, bleep bleep! I would go to extreme lengths to hide my arm, mostly because I actually believed I was ugly. But now I’ve learnt I wasn’t alone – now I know other people have faced similar situations and it’s credible how they’ve dealt with their insecurities to bring out their confidence.
Like my partner always says; ‘your arm defines who you are -it’s cool, someone who is strong, confident, and different’ – and being different isn’t a bad trait to have! I enjoy being different, I don’t wish to be like anyone else. I want to be me and that’s okay, I’ve finally embraced my scar and no longer afraid of being judged or stared at. I take great pleasure showing my scar because it is part of me.
When I look in the mirror now, I see a woman who is strong, content and ambitious with who she is- but the question is ‘am I satisfied’ – ladies, I will never be satisfied I will always want to push my boundaries and strive for more. It’s what motivates me!
I think social media plays a fundamental role in overcoming insecurities (if utilised in the right way), in my mind it’s a very powerful tool (although some may disagree) it’s a quick, easy route to talk to women; and this broad appeal has elevated me to fashion’s mainstream. I think other women are drawn to my authenticity and respond well to ‘being real’. In photo’s, you’re going to see all the lumps and bumps, the minimum makeup and the natural me – why would I ever want to lie about that, or photoshop the pictures? I want you all to see the real me, I take pride in my natural self. So I’m like ‘screw this, I’m being me’. I love talking to people, looking them in the eye. I think that makes people feel more at home with me.
What’s more interesting is spending time with the self- assured woman beside me – one of those being Parveen (my sister in law)! She’s kind of my saviour and I thank her all the time for snapping me out of a confused state of mind and helping me chase my dreams of being a fashion blogger.
Blogging has liberated me and allowed me to seize the moment, I didn’t know at the time, but I have created something completely new. Without even thinking, I have caught a wave that has changed everything and I seriously feel strong and embraced my insecurities. Rather then feeling insecure of my scar I don’t mind showing it off, we are all individuals, with different looks and different personalities, every time I look back on what I’ve been through a sense of power pushes me to work harder. I hope anyone reading who either suffers from a disability, scar or disfiguration gains the confidence to move forward and enjoy life. The true fact of life is; ‘we only live once but if we do it right, once is enough!’ What do you think loves?
I have friends skinny, heavy and in between, who all have the same insecurities. I agree with Garance Dore when she say’s ‘Beauty really comes from the inside, though a little makeup always helps. I want people to acknowledge we’re all so different, and what works for me won’t necessarily work for you. But I rely on trial and error, and draw inspiration from the beautiful women around me’. Her statement could be no further from the truth and exactly how I feel.
I feel fashion is also a very powerful tool when it comes to insecurities, talking from experience I felt dressing up and testing different styles of outfits and colours not only changed my behaviour towards my scar but gave me a new wave of confidence. Piecing outfits together is a skill that was already embedded inside me, it’s something I never knew existed until I was told by my friends and family how good my outfits look, weather they were wacky or one’s they would not dare to put together. Having discovered my love for fashion in part was a saviour for me, it helped me grow as a person and gave me the strength to continue to write about my life experience as I am doing this very moment.
This blog is a shout out to all the lovely ladies that have shared a similar experience to me, and if you are going through the same insecurities now then please keep your head up high and remember that true beauty grows within! Love your scars and love your disability as these are the markings of where the structure of your character was welded and they are beautiful reminders of the battles you have won, they show your strength, courage and are an important part of your story! Be strong and be you!
What am I wearing?
Photography by Ben Kapur